Showing Love

There are many ways to show your affection to those you care about. The most important thing about showing love is the intent behind it. Be purposeful in the ways you show how much you care. Here are a few ways to be genuine in your appreciation.

Your Friends

Be a person who surprises with blessings


The gift of giving gifts comes from knowing that the days that matter are the ones we aren’t expecting anything. A gift makes an impact the further away or the “out of the blue”. My opinion is that birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, Christmas, and other holidays are arbitrary days we mark on a calendar. What do you do with the rest? Make the intent of the days you aren’t obligated to get a present to give the person you love or admire something they need. This requires you to listen to what their pain points are and be able to tailor a personal gift instead of another wine bottle or card they’ll throw away in a month. 


The gift of giving gifts comes from knowing that the days that matter are the ones we aren’t expecting anything. A gift makes an impact the further away or the “out of the blue”. My opinion is that birthdays, anniversaries, valentines, Christmas, and other holidays are arbitrary days we mark on a calendar. What do you do with the rest? Make the intent of the days you aren’t obligated to get a present to give the person you love or admire something they need. This requires you to listen to what their pain points are and be able to tailor a personal gift instead of another wine bottle or card they’ll throw away in a month. 

Your Coworkers

Empathy is being able to feel what others feel. You are able to put yourself in someone’s place and experience it. People are experts at masking their suffering. It’s a defense mechanism based in biology. Showing a sign of weakness makes us a target for natural selection. In the work setting it’s difficult to be vulnerable because of how others can manipulate our feelings. The intention of empathy must be true and loving. When the intention is quid pro quo, the relationship becomes transactional. It feeds the insecurity and desire to put on a front so we may be favored by certain people. Transactional relationships are fake, insincere, and uncomfortable.

Learning and empathizing with others experiences is how we can understand the motivation of our coworkers. Their perceived weaknesses can become strengths because we are aware and steer away from a non optimal situation. We can anticipate when there might be a distraction in their life and mitigate the effects to the product due to a lack of focus.

The only thoughts we now for sure are our own. Creating a relationship through empathy is how we can compound the group’s productivity by learning what yoke they carry. This may be insecurity or a physical obligation like a child or loved one. By listening to our coworkers, absorbing the experiences they had, we can create an environment where they can excel. 

Your Parents

Our environment is what shapes our belief. It’s why those with an incomplete household seem to lack traits as those from the typical nuclear family. What if you didn’t have a strong father figure that could teach you how to fend for yourself? What if you didn’t have a mother that would love you regardless of the crime you committed? The balance is key whether or not your “father” figure is related to you. Whoever that person may be, they usually are much older, experienced, and have taught you about the way they know the world.

You can thank them by acknowledging their advice, even when you don’t follow it. Let them know that they are important to you. Part of growing up is understanding how you can contribute to bettering society. Usually that starts with one person. Gratitude and respect are free to give and invaluable to the people that have mentored and brought you through life. 

Showing Tough Love

To switch it up on the parents, there has to be a time where you “let the birds go from the nest”. This may require pushing them out and seeing if they can fly. As much as you want to be the caregiver, you won’t be there forever. Make sure that you allow your children the chance to fail and stand back up. Let them build resiliency while the stakes are much lower than when they finish college or get their first job. We learn best and fastest by doing and iterating until we get it right. Resist the urge to shield your child and they will develop their own armor.

Love differently rather than loving more

When parents have children, the child becomes the center of the world. All work done must be to better care for the kid. Typically, the father will go out and work his butt off to put food on the table as a provider. The mother will nurture the child and make sure they grow until they are out of the house and into the world.

This is normal yet so wrong.

While innocent at first, the priority in how love is given is imbalanced. Children inevitably will be involved in other activities. Sports, clubs, friends, parties all abound throughout school and post graduation. As a parent, there should be a couple rules to follow to ensure that your child doesn’t become the sole meaning of your existence:
Make sure the love you show the child is the same intensity as the love you show your spouse Mothers overdue love with their child. Their bond is inseparable. Yet it needs to be balanced with the spouse. Going back to being acknowledged, the best thing a mother can do is to love differently rather than creating an imbalance of affection. Neglect is what sows the feelings of envy, depression, and much more.

Think about the long term effects of loving the child for the next 20 or so years. What happens after they leave? You are left with a neglected husband who you don’t know (or possibly don’t ever care for). What we don’t want is for the mother and father to be running in different circles for a majority of their lives and once it ends they don’t even recognize the partner they fell in love with. Love takes consistent affection. The tank runs empty quickly. Top it off every day to continue the ride through life with your partner.

Make time for both of you intentionally. Get a babysitter, a grandparent, uncle, etc to go out and enjoy each others company Work gives us purpose from 9-5. It is easier to commit to a challenging job for 8 hours a day and then completely unplug until the next day starts. However, the intentionality of the day should not end once your job ends. As a spouse, you need to 1) acknowledge the work your partner has done to take care of the child and 2) show that affection in a way that they can receive it. This can take the forms of the many love languages: words of affirmation, touching, physical labor, etc. Be creative, be spontaneous (read: don’t just do it for anniversaries)

UncategorizedGJ Sequeira