What You Wished Your Dad Taught You: Lessons from Models By Mark Manson

Why can’t most men attract and seduce the right women?

 Millennial men are going out with the intention of bedding women, then complain how they either can’t get women or don’t seem to match up with the right women. 

How can we solve this? How do we increase our chances of finding and attracting the girl that we want?

 We list out the things we would want in a woman. What types of qualities would she have? Past the obvious (cute, pretty, beautiful, or any other basic chick) what are her interests? Does she like to be outdoors? Likes old movies and classic art? Fitness fanatic? Spectacular dancer?Figure out what you would want in a girl in what she likes doing. From there it’s easy to determine the demographic you want to place yourself in whenever you can. If you like a girl that can dance, go to places where dancing is encouraged. Latin restaurants are well known to have salsa and bachata dancing during the late nights. If you have two left feet, head to a dance class. Chances are you might meet a woman that can dance (or is learning how to) and if not, you are developing a skill that makes you more attractive to the woman you want. By having similar interests and skills, you have a grounding point in conversation with women who like and do the same thing. The flow works itself out as your experiences get shared. 

What do women find attractive?

 

  • Being non needy

  • Being vulnerable (to a point)

  • Being Honest with your intentions

  • Having opinions that polarize

 

Non neediness

Women don’t need another person to babysit. They don’t need attention from guys that don’t have anything else to give. If a man is genuine in his intentions, and assumes that regardless of whether she’s receptive or not he has “succeeded”, he has nothing to fear of approaching. This translates to confidence when talking and approaching women, which in turn attracts them even more.

Being vulnerable (to a point)

Sharing your experiences allows her to share your emotions and explore common ground. Give and take.

Being Honest with your intentions

To put it briefly, it’s not what you say but WHY you say it. If you approach and talk to a woman with the right intentions you won’t fail. Rejection or acceptance isn’t the goal here. Being with the right woman that you are genuinely interested in is.

Having opinions that polarize

You want to be able to have strong opinions that draw a line in the sand. These should be things you have read and researched and have an educated take. By doing so, you create a filter for 1)women that are willing to take a stand against you (civilly) and 2) attraction to take place for the women that recognize the confidence in your opinion. 

The 3 Types of Women

 According to Manson, the women you are attracted to fall into three categories:

Receptive

  • How to tell if they are receptive

    • they make an effort to be with you - this takes many forms: touching, isolating, laughing, etc

Neutral

  • You need to polarize them as soon as possible

  • Be vulnerable, make your intentions known, and be okay with the result no matter what it is. It’s a numbers game, you have ample opportunities for find another woman

Unreceptive

  • Not interested, no exceptions. Once you are aware she is unreceptive, get out and move on. end of story

 

How to increase the amount of women that are receptive to you

 

It’s all about quality - quality of life, status, and looks

  • life - your experiences, your knowledge, your wardrobe

  • status - having a stable job, being seen with other friends (especially women), and the quality of people and relationships you keep

  • looks - this boils a lot down to genetics, but can be enhanced by following a fitness program to accentuate certain features

 

How to increase the amount of women that shift from Neutral to responsive

  • How good your conversation is and how you communicate your intentions. Being vulnerable and expressing your “true” self.

  • Realize that every “miss” gets you better at polarizing and closer to women you actually want

 

The Fundamentals of Attraction

Honest Living

  1. The quality of your lifestyle - how you dress, how healthy you are, and where you hang out

    1. Play the numbers game - go to places where the ideal woman you want to meet would hang out or go to do activities and have fun

    2. Assume attraction - women are rooting for you to woo them, you have to have the confidence up front to approach

    3. Age, style, money - it doesn’t matter, but it does matter

      • look put together by grooming yourself, wearing clothes that fit, colors that go together, and that fit in the right demographic

      • The older you are, the more money you are assumed to have

      • you can make up most of these with attractive behavior, and the more you have of the above, the less you need

        • attractive behavior: playing to your strengths, personal interests, and honing on demographic

    4. Social proof - going out with friends/women that show you aren’t a creep

      • know the context and division of power - office manager is seen as powerful at the office, knowing the bouncer or bartender (aka being the bar promoter) is seen as powerful at a bar/club

    5. Stick with a hell yes or no system: no ranking from 1 to 10. Stick with a binary yes and approach or a no move on to the next

    6. Style - wear clothes that fit and that go well with each other

    7. Fitness - look like you lift and accentuate the key features that give you an appealing shape (see here)

    8. Be Fascinating -

      • have unique experience and ideas - you can achieve this by

        • Reading a lot of books - using the teachings from the greats to help influence your perspective

        • Having a deeper than face value opinion of the arts - (what does it remind you of, what made the movie poignant)

      • What we’re trying to do is set yourself apart from the normal person, we want to go levels deeper and show vulnerability and polarize at the same time. It provides a deeper connection and filters women out that you don’t want to be with

      • Assume everything has something of value and it’s your job to find it. Start with what is considered the “best” of a genre and explore from there. once you can determine something that is good to what sucks you have a grasp of what makes a piece of art, music, film great

        • “Challenge yourself to find the good and beautiful thing inside of everyone. It’s there. It’s your job to find it. Not their job to show you.”

      • have an opinion - if you don’t know enough about a subject, learn about it and force yourself to be on one side or another - POLARIZE

    9. “The more life experience you indulge in, the more developed of a person you’ll become”

    10. “Also, the more you invest in yourself, the less needy you become around women, the more attractive you become”

Honest Action

Self Explanatory. Do things because you want to do them. Men do stupid stuff to try and impress women. It’s the men that act in ways that better themselves and show their values that women are attracted to. Be decisive. Be firm. Biologically men are meant to take control and lead the situation. Act with confidence. She’ll like you even more.

Honest Communication

  • Make your intentions known

  • First impressions are largely based on looks

  • On being charming - learn how to speak well without filler, speak slower, say it with your chest

  • Learn how to cold read - make guesses at what she is rather than asking. It opens the conversation for her to elaborate rather than just a yes or no answer. and in the off chance you are right, it builds rapport that you were so perceptive

  • Learn the story arc: Set up, Context/Conflict, Resolution

    • How do you find sources for these stories?

      • “Your passions and favorite things to do.

      • Your dreams, ambitions, life goals.

      • The best/worst things that have happened to you.”

      • Your childhood, family, or upbringing

TLDR

“Get your life taken care of. Get healthy. Find a happy group of friends. Find a few hobbies that you love. Develop opinions. Start caring about what you spend your time doing”

First look inward. Work on developing a classic style that you can wear in any situation. Have a go to outfit or uniform for going out. Women care more about how “put together” a man is rather than solely physical appearance. If you’re well groomed and well dressed, you give the impression that you have your life together (aka not needy)

UncategorizedGJ Sequeira